This is the time of year when we all seem to make unattainable resolutions. Or maybe we think we’ll stick to them, but they’re long forgotten by the end of January. Or maybe everyone else is great at it, and I’m sitting here sucking. This year, my main goal is to not wait. If I know I need to get back on track with my fitness plan, I’m not going to wait until a Monday or the first of a month. I’m going to figure out how to get my butt in gear to do it.
I’m already succeeding at this because I’ve started making changes as I noticed they needed to be made. The biggest change has been to my outlook on life. In 2015, I allowed myself to get caught up in trying to keep up with everyone else. This led to a me I didn’t much care for. I was angry when I wasn’t as successful as other authors. I was jealous of them for achieving what I obviously couldn’t. And I made the mistake of looking at all of the “best of” posts, wondering why I couldn’t hit those lists. Obviously, it had to be some sort of failing on my part.
That’s why, in 2016, I’m not looking. I’m not paying attention to what everyone else is doing or what’s popular. I’m not going to try to figure out what I’m lacking. Instead, I’m going to look at myself. I’m going to ask myself what will make me a happier person. And the reality is, there are going to be times when that means I get up and walk away from my computer.
Don’t get me wrong, writing is my passion. I tell people all the time that I’m the luckiest girl in the world because I’m blessed to have people who are willing to take the chance and spend their hard earned money on the stories I’ve written. I don’t write for the paycheck, but I’m beyond grateful that I can take the thing that keeps me sane and support my family with it.
But somewhere along the way, writing went from being the art that fed my soul to a job. I lost the joy I once felt. I started worrying that I’d be left in the dust if I didn’t produce. I grew to hate having to sit my ass down in the chair and write, knowing that people were waiting on the next book.
I need to find that love again. If I don’t, there’s really no point in continuing, because I’d be cheating everyone. So, I’m going to keep doing what I love, but in 2016, I’m going to set limits for myself so I don’t feel run down. This may wind up meaning fewer books in a year, but that’s okay, because they’ll be written with the heart I had when I started and the knowledge I’ve gained over the years.
My hope for anyone who’s read my rambling post to this point is that you might do the same. Rather than think about the things you should be doing that you never have, try to remember something you once loved and do it again. Don’t let the pressure attach itself to your ankle like a ball and chain. Go out there and have fun! I know that’s what I hope to do!